We are very different sleepers. I’m a light sleeper, and he can sleep in until noon. I like to sleep on my side, and he needs to sleep on his back, otherwise he’ll be in pain. I tend to have dreams all the time, and he has cycles of dreamless sleep and then really intense dreams.
Dreams helped me fix our friendship when I felt that I couldn’t be close to him anymore.
Before our fiasco, we would tell each other our dreams. I might have four dreams in a night, or he would have one that was emotionally upsetting…no matter what the content of our dreams were, we would talk about it. On the nights after either of us had a nightmare, we would send each other “good dream vibes” for the next night. We had to specify good dreams, because once he sent me “interesting dream vibes” and though the dreams I had were interesting, they were also really freaky.
It was really nice to have this thing that we did, as a method of mutual entertainment and as a way to have another way to share ourselves with each other. When we were in the middle of our vague drama (which I refuse to detail here), it became very difficult to communicate. I always felt sad, or I couldn’t talk about certain things with him anymore. I felt like there was a chasm between us and it would take a long time to close that gap. Furthermore, I didn’t know how to, since we were so busy with our respective lives that we couldn’t see each other often. For the most part, all we had were text messages and other digital ways to communicate with each other.
Then he told me about a dream he’d had. I think it had been a while since we last had any dreams to share with each other. It might have been the dream where he had rescued a kitty and also was trying to survive an alien invasion at the same time. It may have been a different dream. Either way, it was an uncomplicated topic that we could just talk about without having any of our real world drama get in the way. Then the dreams kept coming.
I looked forward to having dreams to share with him in the morning, and wondered if he had any to share with me. In a way, it’s like having a human dream diary. We laughed and had discussions about our dreams and what they may have meant. There was something stable in our lives that didn’t have to be misinterpreted or a big deal. Slowly things got back to normal between us.
I’ve read (today) in some questionable sources that keeping a dream diary can be beneficial to you. Among the 2,220,000 results from Google, purported benefits of keeping a dream diary include a greater understanding of your self conscious, it stimulates your brain, and it’s apparently it’s a method to master lucid dreaming. For me, sharing my dreams was a way to build back trust and comfort in our friendship. It’s got to mean something when you share parts of your subconscious to others, right?
Perhaps the moral of this story is that finding a simple way to communicate and connect can have a large impact on fixing your relationships.
I found mine in my sleep.